A wife that inadvertently discovers her husband's cross dressing secret will most often have far more difficulty accepting the new situation, than one who is sat down and told about it, and even more so if the husband explains why he does it, and makes clear that his predilection is not in any way threatening to their relationship.
The immediate feelings that most wives encounter when they discover that their husbands cross-dress are anger, fear, denial and grief, and they might even feel that their own femininity is under threat and that the future of their relationship is at stake.
Once the wife understands that her husband isn't leaving her for another man, then a healing can take place, and this often occurs when she realizes that her husband is the same sensitive, kind, appreciative and loving man that he was when they got married.